Tuesday, 15 June 2010

FAMILY "DIFFERENCES"



What do you do when you are in the middle of a "family war"? a group of supposed adults who should in adulthood be able to be "approachable" make sense, however sometimes it is worse dealing with family wars than with  a friend or a stranger.
With a stranger once you have an argument its done and dusted, you never see them again, life goes on, with a friend it hurts, but you learn to live with it and may never be friends again, but with family you cannot cut them out of your life, they are your siblings, your flesh and blood, so what do you do?
Many trials and tribulations of everyday life contribute to family arguments, some are trivial, some are serious but at the end of the day you should be able to mend fences and try as much as possible to get along, usually the Mother is the centrepiece or the Father so siblings try to get along for their sake.
What if you do not have a Mum or Dad, if it is just siblings? It is easy to estrange yourself from family, you may live in another part of the Country so it is easy to move on, you may be inclined just to say to hell with it and live your own life, each person is unique in how you would or could handle the family feud.
I am going to use the following as an example, names have been changed.

Isobel and Germaine are sisters, they have a lot in common, they generally get along, they have the odd fall out as sisters do, generally they make up and all goes well, however this time they have had a major fall out, each going out of their way to hurt the other.
The Mother in this case is dominant, she wants to spend all day every day with her eldest daughter, however the feeling is not mutual, the eldest daughter wants her own space, she has a partner, children, and as much as she loves her Mother she needs her space.

Question... do you think the Mother is in the right? or do you think the eldest daughter is in the right?

Arguments between the two break out into the other members of the family, the Mother is adamant she is right, the eldest daughter is also adamant she is right, so it involves other members in the family whether they want to be involved or not.

The father is estranged, he lives close but allows his daughters to live their own life, make their own mistakes and just keeps his head down, he is there when needed, he will listen, however he does not want to be involved in a dispute which seems childish in as much as two adults cannot discuss the scenario without losing it.

If YOU were the Father what would YOU do??

Please answer in your comments, there is no right or wrong in this exercise, it will be interesting to read your thoughts.



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